The kids and I have been working hard to get the house all cleaned up. Their cleaning style is like most children's...out of sight and the room is clean. When I go in to inspect their work, it all looks really good, and then I bend down and look under the bed. Yep...Their whole room is somehow crammed under there. It just makes me laugh because I think that is how we adults tend to "clean up"...to make sure we look good on the outside...to hide things down deep...to appear to be alright, when all the while we are hurting. This is true for me a lot of the time. I easliy push my frustrations and disappointments out of the way so that no one can see them. When on the inside I am screaming for help. I isolate myself from those I love because I don't want them to really know who I am and what I struggle with. The truth is that we all know how to play the "everything's fine" game. I usually lose because I can't hide out forever, and I can't keep things pushed down inside of me for too long. Eventually I have to deal with myself and take myself to the God who heals all of my hurts and who takes my disappointments and turns them into new growth. Richard and I have been stretched more lately than we have ever been before. The stretching does hurt, but afterward we seem to know God in a new way and we know each other in a new way too. The end of the clean house story is that we did get it all cleaned up...for now. There will always be things that God needs me to give him so that he can renew me and grow me...I just need to become better at not hiding things underneath my heart. I want to truely let go and allow him to have His way.